How to lead as an introvert
When you think of your stereotypical introvert, you probably think of someone who is socially awkward who likes to be alone. If introverts don’t even like interacting with other people, then how could they possibly be successful leaders? Well for one, that’s a pretty close-minded description of who an introvert is. Everyone is on a spectrum of their introversion vs. extroversion, and there is a lot more to those with introverted personalities than just preferring to be alone.
If you’ve ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality test, you can see how introverted/extroverted you are, among other things. This may come as a shock to those who know me, but I’m unequivocally an introvert. My personality test came back 60% introverted and 40% extroverted. While I’m not 100% introverted, I definitely lean heavily toward introversion in my personal and professional life.
If you know me professionally, it probably comes as a surprise to you that I’m an introvert because I’m so assertive and take-charge in my work life. If you’ve ever attended one of my conference calls, you can tell I’m pretty no-nonsense. I get down to business and lead my calls with authority. I may not come off as the typical introvert stereotype, but that leads me to two important points I want to make.
Not all introverts are the same. This seems pretty obvious, but it’s worth mentioning. Just because there are general tendencies that categorize introverts doesn’t mean that every introvert will possess all of these qualities. As mentioned previously, we are all on a spectrum of introversion vs. extroversion as well, so those farther on one side or the other may have different experiences.
My experiences are not representative of all introverts. Again, it seems pretty obvious that my experiences as an introvert do not speak for all introverts, but I wanted to specifically mention it to be clear. You may or may not relate to my experiences if you are also an introvert, but my experiences are unique to me and me alone.
Now I’d like to go through some common traits of introverts, how they can be potential obstacles and how you can overcome them in order to be a great leader. Along the way, I’ll also share my personal experiences and provide advice on how you can lead effectively as an introvert.
You prefer to be alone
One of the most common characteristics of introverts is that they prefer to be alone. You can probably picture a stereotypical introverted “loner” type who hates to be around other people. They prefer to work alone rather than in teams. This is an inherent obstacle for any leader because as the leader of a team, you cannot work alone. You are responsible for not only being part of a team but also cultivating the culture of the team — an integral part of any team’s success.
There are many potential downfalls for a leader who prefers to work alone. For example, you may expect your team to work completely independently and just figure it out. While a team is supposed to be self-sufficient, you still need to be available for your team to provide guidance and set the direction of the team. You can’t just set your team free and let them figure it out without being there to support them. Additionally, while you might find you are most productive when you work alone, that doesn’t mean everyone on your team is that way. You have to be able to adapt to the different personalities of your team members and realize how to lead them in the way that is most effective for them. If that means more regular check-in meetings with a particular member of your team, then that’s what you need to do to make sure you meet the specific needs of each team member.
In addition, if you are a distant and disengaged leader, your team will be distant and disengaged as well. You set the example for your team, so if you are out of touch and just doing your own thing, your team will follow suit. Your team will be made of its separate parts, and you may still be an effective team in getting your work done. But you really won’t be a team if you aren’t truly working together as one unit. When a team is engaged, you will see the best work of all team members.
If you are personally invested in seeing your team succeed, you will work harder and be more committed to its success.
Lastly, if you prefer to work alone as a leader, you may be resistant to collaboration and new ideas. Because you prefer to work alone, you are used to coming up with your own ideas and probably think your ideas are better than what you could come up with in a group setting. You may see collaboration as a waste of time because you could just be getting the work done rather than wasting time talking about it with other people. Additionally, if your team members come to you with new ideas, you may be resistant to accepting them because you think you know best.
Again, I’m not saying all introverts think this way, but I have most definitely thought this way myself before. I have taken on leadership roles because I wanted to control the outcome of the project or deliverable. I have thought that if I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done correctly. I have been resistant to collaboration because I think I know what’s best, and how could anyone possibly do it better than me? This compulsion to control everything is a toxic mindset to have and extremely detrimental to working in a team environment.
Preferring to work alone as an introvert might come from different sources, such as social anxiety, rather the need to control everything like I do. However, all introverts should recognize the positives of collaboration in order to lead a team effectively. If you are engaging with your team members on a regular basis and providing support where needed, your team will ultimately be far more successful. This open line of communication is essential in bringing out any potential issues and resolving them in a timely manner. If your team doesn’t feel comfortable coming to you with issues, this can result in long-term negative consequences for the team, such as your team members being unhappy and leaving the group or company.
Additionally, you really will produce better work as a team if you collaborate. Again, for perfectionists and control freaks like me, this may seem hard to believe. I’m constantly fighting against my desire to control everything, and I have to step back and see what other people have to bring to the table. When I have done that, I have been pleasantly surprised at how many great ideas other people have. When working on the Women’s Forum quarterly newsletter for example, I had an idea of the kind of content we should be producing and how it should look. Then I actually stepped back and listened to the other members of the team, and I’m so glad I did. The newsletter turned out exceedingly better than it ever could have if I was the only one working on it. I had to swallow my pride and what I considered to be the “right way” and realize that my colleagues had equally good — if not better — ideas than I had.
By allowing myself to embrace collaboration, we produced a much superior product, and that really is the beauty of teamwork that all us introverts must realize.
Now that I’ve gone into all the details about how working alone is detrimental to being a leader and working in a team environment, is there any benefit to working alone? Yes, absolutely. In a lot of jobs even if you are part of a team, you will be expected to work independently. You’re not going to be able to collaborate 24/7 in any job. You have to be able to work by yourself and produce quality results. So if you are effective and productive at working alone, that is a great trait to have.
For example, when I worked as a writing tutor for three years, I would consider most of my work to be alone. When I would respond to papers on the Online Writery, I would be by myself, just me and my computer writing up a response to a student. Even when I had in-person appointments, it was just me and the other person, so I would need to be able to be self-sufficient in order to handle the appointment myself.
Additionally, when I worked on the digital copy desk at the Columbia Missourian, most of my time was spent working independently, copy editing news articles. While I did still have to work in a team environment with other folks in the newsroom, I still had to be able to get my own work done by myself. In any job, there will be a mixture of working alone and working with others. There are very few jobs where it is just one or the other. That’s why I think it’s important to be able to be successful in both areas.
It may take a little more work for introverts in order to work with and lead others, but it’s most certainly possible. As an introverted leader, you don’t have to change everything about yourself and suddenly prefer working with others. It is important to be able to work with others, but like I mentioned previously, it’s not the only thing you need in order to be successful; you still need to be able to work effectively alone. If you are struggling with how to lead as an introvert since you prefer to be alone, consider some of the benefits of collaborating that will make your team stronger. That doesn’t mean you have to surround yourself with others constantly, but if you apply some the advice I listed above, such as making sure to be available to your team and being open to new ideas, you might be surprised by just how much your team is able to grow and succeed.
You avoid small talk whenever possible
Another common trait of introverts is that they avoid small talk whenever possible. This can be in any life situation, such as when you’re standing in line at the grocery store or when you’re at the beginning of a conference call waiting for everyone to join. This is a potentially catastrophic trait for any leader because small talk is a big part of cultivating relationships. When you work in an office, you see your colleagues in the break room and chat about what you did that weekend or other details of your personal life.
When you share things about yourself outside of work with others, you are building relationships. Your colleagues become more “real” in that they aren’t just your colleagues anymore; they are real people who have outside interests. You may find out that you have more things in common than you realized, and you could make a great friend out of that person. Even if that’s not the case, you will still have a better working relationship with that person when you engage in small talk on a regular basis.
This is exceedingly more important when you don’t work in an office or if your team is spread out across the country. You don’t have as many opportunities for informal interactions when working with a remote team. You aren’t able to chat in the break room or at the printer while you’re waiting for your copies. You can’t just roll your chair over to your colleague’s desk and ask them what they thought of the latest episode of Game of Thrones. So making the effort to make small talk with your colleagues — whether it be making a joke at the beginning of a conference call, sharing your weekend plans over Skype or including a personal note at the end of an email — is more important than ever when you work in a virtual setting.
In my personal experiences, I very much relate to this idea of despising small talk. When I’m in line at the grocery store or walking my dog, I hate running into people and having to come up with conversation. For those that know me, I’m not a shy person, and I actually do talk quite a bit. I just don’t like having to make small talk with strangers. In a professional setting, I am guilty of this as well. More often than not when I run conference calls, I just get right down to business and don’t stop to allow any bit of chatter that might actually be necessary to diffuse a stressful situation.
In particular professionally, I do realize that small talk is a necessary evil, especially as a leader. If you never let your team bond by engaging in small talk, your team will not be close and won’t operate as efficiently. Plus your team won’t be as happy because they are just getting their work done and don’t feel connected to their colleagues.
Regardless of if you want to admit it or not, small talk is invaluable in boosting team morale, which actually leads to higher productivity and efficiency.
So what do you do as an introverted leader if you hate small talk? Incorporate small talk into your routine. Because I work remotely and my team is spread out across the country, it is more important than ever that I encourage and facilitate small talk in order for the team to be successful. Here are a couple of suggestions for facilitating small talk as a leader of a team (especially a remote one).
Video conference calls – wherever possible, encourage the use of video conference calls. When you see your colleagues, you feel more connected to them, like if you were in person in an office. Additionally, video calls encourage all participants to give their full attention rather than multitasking and doing other things. I have a weekly video call with my team, and often my 1:1s with my team members include video conferencing. It has helped our team become much closer over the years since we are all spread out geographically and don’t have the same opportunities to bond as if we were in an office.
Icebreaker questions – while this might seem a little ridiculous, icebreaker questions are actually great at facilitating small talk and team bonding. In order to get to know each other better, we have a weekly question on our team calls where we learn about each other’s personal lives. The questions can range from how you like your eggs cooked to what was your biggest accomplishment this year. Regardless of the question, taking the time to get to know each other has bonded our team and made us a more cohesive and effective team.
Instant messenger – in today’s day and age, emails are the primary form of communication in corporate America. We typically think of emails as “official” communication, so we are inherently more formal in them and don’t joke around as much. It often feels weird to end an email with a question about someone’s weekend after going through your status updates on your project. An alternative to email communication is using your company’s instant messaging system. For me, it’s Skype for Business, and it’s been critical in not only being able to quickly reach my colleagues about work tasks but also in building relationships. Over IM, you can have a quicker exchange which mimics a real conversation more so than email. You can share details of your personal life and really get to know someone better by utilizing this alternative form of communication.
Social media – another avenue for facilitating small talk and relationships is social media. A lot of companies have their own internal social media sites, so I would encourage you to take advantage of those. Take a look at what people are posting and add your comments. It’s amazing how many relationships you can build just by liking a social media post or commenting on someone’s post. Additionally, utilize external social media platforms, such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, to connect with your colleagues. I’m not saying you have to add all of your colleagues on Facebook, but there are ways to learn about each other and connect through social media in order to cultivate relationships.
So now that I’ve basically said that small talk is a good thing, and you should embrace it even if you are an introvert, how can disliking small talk be a potential benefit? Introverts can be more productive because they don’t engage in small talk. Instead of going into an hour-long debate about last night’s episode or the latest current events, introverts are getting the work done. This is not to say that extroverts are slackers that don’t work. But by avoiding small talk, introverts are inherently more productive and focused on work. They can see small talk as a distraction to getting their work done and don’t always see the positives of it.
As an introvert myself, I try to strike a balance of small talk in my professional life. While I still do typically try to avert small talk wherever possible, I’ve come to realize its benefit in the workplace, especially in developing a strong team. If you are an introvert and also hate small talk, you don’t have to completely change who you are and engage in small talk nonstop. But you can realize the benefit of building relationships through small talk and perhaps try out a few of my tactics listed above, such as holding video conference calls or engaging on social media. I don’t think you have to be a small talk pro in order to be a successful leader, but it is something to consider when trying to build up a cohesive and effective team. A little small talk really can go a long way.
You’re better at writing your thoughts than speaking them
The last introvert trait I’m going to cover is how introverts often prefer to write their thoughts down rather than speaking them. This can be in the form of preferring text messages or emails to phone calls. Often times, “real-time” interaction with others, such as in-person or phone conversations, can cause introverts anxiety. They can be internally begrudging someone for calling them rather than emailing or texting them. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with preferring the written word, it can be problematic in a professional setting.
For one, miscommunication can easily happen with written communication. Because you can’t hear someone’s voice when reading an email or text message, you can often misinterpret what they said. You can read into their tone or intention that may or may not be there. This can be especially troubling when your entire relationship with a colleague is just over email. You might come to your own conclusions about them without ever really getting to know them based on a few misinterpreted emails. Also, written communication can be a waste of time. If you have to send ten emails back and forth in order to get down to the bottom of an issue or to figure out a solution, it would have been much faster to just jump on the phone and talk it out in a few minutes rather than spending all that time sending emails back and forth.
Additionally, written communication is far less personal than speaking in person or talking on the phone. When you write an email or text message, you can say just about anything and not really feel bad about saying it because you often forget there is someone else on the other end of the screen. This is a consistent problem with the emergence of new technologies where we don’t really connect with each other because all our communication is separated by a screen. Yes, you can make some relationships and connections over technology, such as adding a personal note at the end of an email or typing a message in instant messenger, as mentioned earlier. However, if you exclusively use written communication professionally, you are hindering yourself from building real relationships. You can build far more meaningful relationships by also engaging in conversation in person or on the phone if you aren’t able to be in the same location.
What’s interesting about me as an introvert is that I actually hate talking on the phone — to strangers in particular. For example, if I ever have to make an appointment, I would much rather be able to do it online rather than having to call in and talk to a person, even if it’s only for 5 minutes. Otherwise, for work, I don’t really mind talking on the phone. I used to be intimidated of conference calls, but once I figured out how to do them well, it really doesn’t bother me. If you hate talking on the phone for work or any other reason, consider the benefits of oral communication. For one, it’s often more efficient in getting issues resolved quickly. There’s less room for miscommunication. It’s more personal, so it can help you build relationships.
Still not convinced and still think oral communication is a waste of time? That’s perfectly okay. We all communicate in different ways, and there are benefits to written communication over oral communication. For example, when you write things down, people can reference it later. If you make a decision or list of action items on a call but don’t write it down, people might not remember what they are supposed to do later. It helps to have people who are good at recapping meetings and providing clear written communication in order to keep everyone on track. Also, because people’s schedules can be busy, it can be a time and cost saver to use written communication. If you just need to tell the team a deadline has changed, it’s a lot more efficient to just send an email to them rather than getting them all on the phone at a certain time.
All in all, there’s nothing wrong with preferring written communication over oral communication, but there are some benefits of oral communication that all introverts should keep in mind, especially as leaders. Communication is perhaps one of the valuable assets of any leader. Making sure you communicate effectively with your team is of paramount importance, so use written and oral communication where it makes sense to do so. Each has its merits, but don’t be afraid to pick up the phone if that is going to be the most effective method of communication for that particular situation.
What are some advantages of being an introvert?
While I have gone into a lot of detail about how introvert qualities can be potentially damaging for introverted leaders, there are some advantages of being an introvert. For one, introverts are more productive and focused on their work because they prefer to work alone. They often notice details that others miss because of that uninterrupted focus. They often can concentrate for long periods of time on things that matter to them. They ultimately are very effective workers because they don’t waste a lot of time on small talk.
As mentioned previously, while these introvert traits make a great worker, they can be potential obstacles to being a great leader. If you are an introvert, I’m not saying you need to change who you are in order to be a successful leader, but recognize there are benefits to being a little more extroverted, such as embracing collaboration, small talk and oral communication, for example. In saying this, I realize not all introverts are completely averse to these things. We all fall on a spectrum of introversion vs. extroversion, so we each have our own preferences and experiences with each of these items, and that’s okay. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, we are all unique and bring our own unique ideas to the table. This uniqueness presents an opportunity for us all to take advantage of all the great things about each other. We can capitalize on all of our strengths and create greatness. If you are an introvert, it’s okay if you prefer to work alone, but know that you don’t have to. There is a world of people out there willing to help you achieve success; you just have to let them.
