My key to confidence

According to Sheryl Sandberg’s popular book “Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead,” too many women lack confidence. The “confidence gap” finds that women are less assured than men, according to an Atlantic article. “Compared with men, women don’t consider themselves as ready for promotions, they predict they’ll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate their abilities,” Katty Kay and Claire Shipman wrote in the article. According to the same article, confidence matters just as much as competence.

If confidence is so important to professional success, why do so many women lack it, and what can we do to improve it? I may not be able to answer why so many women lack confidence, but I can share with you my personal experiences with confidence and my key to achieving it.

It’s not what you know

What is the key to confidence then? It’s not what you know. You would think that the more you know about something, the more confident you will be about it, right? For example, if you go to school and get a degree in engineering, you should be more confident about working as an engineer, right? Yes and no.

Yes, what you learned about engineering in school is important in pursuing a career in engineering. You need the basic understanding/knowledge of the subject in order to be successful. However, when you get into your actual job, you aren’t going to be tested on what you learned about engineering from your classes. You are going to be expected to use the skillset you built through your education in order to meet the expectations of the job.  

That’s because education is all about building up critical skillsets, not just memorizing facts.

When you think back to all the things you had to learn in high school, for example, I’m sure you can come up with a list a mile long of things you never use in your adult life. Past my educational experiences, I’ve never had to use the quadratic formula, repeat dates of wars in history or write a literary analysis on a fictional character. While I’ve never had to use these items specifically, they have been invaluable in contributing to my personal and professional success.

For example, by learning the quadratic formula and how to use it, I developed critical thinking skills. By learning dates of wars in history, I curated an appreciation for the past and how our history fits into current events. By writing a literary analysis of a fictional character, I learned how to write and structure an argument. Critical thinking, cultural understanding and the ability to write are all things of monumental importance in my adult life and professional career. My education has allowed me to develop these critical lifelong skills, which are far more important than just “what I know.”

Yes, education is important, and we all should devote more time to learning and knowing more. However, you won’t be successful in any career if you rely only on what you know to be confident. In today’s day and age, everything is constantly evolving, so you will never be able to just know something and call it good. For example, technology is constantly changing, so you have to adapt as new technologies become available in our workplace. 

A silly example is upgrading from one version of Windows to the next. You might be very familiar with Windows 7 and know everything about how to use Windows 7. But now all your company’s computers are being on put on Windows 10, a system you don’t know how to use since it didn’t exist before. How are you going to possibly adapt? You are going to be able to figure it out because you learned the skillset of how to operate computers and how to problem solve. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know the specifics of how to operate Windows 10 because you can learn it.

If you approach everything with a can-do attitude, you will be far more successful professionally and in life in general. For example, if someone comes to you with a question or task to complete that you don’t know how to do, you could just tell the person you don’t know and go on with your day. Or you could tell them you don’t know the answer just yet, but you will help them figure it out. This willingness to learn and adapt to unfamiliar situations is what will set you apart and set you up for professional success.

On the other hand, if you are only comfortable doing what you know, you are limiting your potential for growth. You will be stuck doing the same thing for the rest of your professional career because of your inability to adapt to unfamiliar situations. Step outside of your comfort zone, and you will find that you are able to do things you never even thought possible.

Growth comes from doing things that make you uncomfortable.

It’s not experience

If the key to confidence isn’t what you know, then it must be your experience, right? The more time you have put into a certain job or field, the more confident you will be about it, right? Yes and no. Similar to what you know, experience is important in building a solid reputation for yourself. Experience is important in demonstrating your past abilities and successes that are going to be indicators of your future success.

However, just because you haven’t done something before doesn’t mean you can’t do it and shouldn’t be confident in your abilities to achieve it. 

So many times I’ve heard people doubt their abilities because they are “only this rank” and “not as experienced as so-and-so.” I’ve even been guilty of this myself on occasion, saying I’m just a college student or consultant, so what do I know? This is a toxic mindset to have, which ultimately limits your potential for growth.

Don’t count yourself out just because you don’t have decades of experience in the field or might not have the specific expertise needed for the role. You might not know how to do the job now, but can you learn it? If the answer is yes, then don’t limit your possibilities just because you don’t think you have enough experience to go for that job. Believe in the awesome skillset you have curated over the years and show your potential employer how you can learn and do anything you set your mind to.

Because technologies and industries are constantly evolving, employers aren’t looking for employees who just know things and have experience in certain fields — they are looking for employees who can quickly adapt, learn new things and even bring new ideas to the table. Yes, it still is important to know things and have experience in order to be successful professionally, but don’t let your lack of knowledge or experience stop you from pursuing opportunities.

You’d be surprised how a can-do attitude and excellent work ethic are far more valued in today’s job market.

A newspaper success story

If the key to confidence isn’t what you know or experience, then what could it possibly be? My key to confidence is to fake it until you make it. That might sound cliché, but it’s completely true in my experiences. So many times in my professional career, I have had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but I just faked it until I made it, and no one ever knew the difference.

For example, when I showed up to work as the print desk manager for the Columbia Missourian my senior year of college, I literally had no idea what I was doing. For this job, I was supposed to manage the print budget, design newspaper pages, write print headlines, proof print pages, oversee all the page designers and copy editors and copy edit news articles. I had no idea how to do any of these things except copy edit news articles, but I faked it until I made it.

I had managed the content budget of my high school newspaper, but this was completely different at a city newspaper. We had a 3 p.m. budget meeting I had to attend to go over what the content of the newspaper would be that evening, but as news happened, things would change, and I would have to adjust. I had no experience dealing with breaking news coverage and how to reflect that in a print newspaper under a daily midnight deadline.

Similarly, I had no idea how to design newspaper pages because I hadn’t taken the News Design class yet.  I had laid out a few pages at my high school newspaper, but again, this was completely different. I had to conceptualize a design and execute it in computer software I was unfamiliar with. I also had to write print headlines. In my past semester of copy editing at the newspaper, I had maybe worked on the print desk twice and wrote a handful of print headlines. I also had to proof all the print pages of the newspaper, which I had only done a handful of times working on the digital copy desk.

On top of all these new responsibilities I didn’t know how to do, I had to oversee the fellow page designers and copy editors. I had no idea how to do page design myself or write print headlines, but I was supposed to be teaching these things to others? Yikes. I will never forget that first Monday night that I was in charge of the print newspaper. It was the first day of the semester, and I was terrified of failing. But it turned out just fine in the end. The newspaper got out on time, without major incident, and I survived.

Being thrown into managing the print desk was the best learning experience I ever had. I was forced to figure it out, and I did figure it out (eventually). My “faking it” turned into “making it.” By being confident in my abilities and never doubting myself, I quickly came up to speed and could do the job just fine in time. If I had let my lack of knowledge and lack of experience control me, I would have never had the guts to try something completely new and unfamiliar to me. I would have never been able to realize how strong I really am and how I can succeed in anything that I put my mind to. I would have never realized my love and passion for management had I not jumped in without fear. Yes, I could have completely crashed and burned in the job, and I think sometimes that does happen for some people.

But that’s no reason to stop yourself from pursuing something new. It might not work out fabulously, but if you don’t push yourself to try, you’ll never know.

A proposal success story

While I might not have known much about how to be a print desk manager, at least I had a little bit of experience working on my high school newspaper. Starting my first job out of college as a proposal coordinator for CGI’s Financial Solutions, I really did have no idea what I was doing. One of my first learning experiences as a proposal coordinator was facilitating conference calls. So in all my previous jobs I’ve worked at prior to working at CGI, I talked with my colleagues in person, so there was no need to hold conference calls. I had never joined a conference call prior to CGI, much less facilitated one.

When I started the job, I joined a few of my colleagues’ proposal conference calls, listening in and trying to learn the etiquette. Within a few weeks of starting my role, my former boss went on her honeymoon, and I was on deck to start coordinating my own proposals and running my own conference calls. I had no idea what I was doing, but I just opened my bridge and went with it, pretending I knew exactly what I was doing. Soon enough, the “faking it” turned into “making it.”

Three years later, I am a conference call pro. I’ve even made presentations on how to effectively facilitate meetings and taught multiple people how to do it. I have run so many conference calls that I find my conference call habits seeping over into my personal life. On calls with family members, I’ve even recapped the meeting and reiterated next steps! I am so comfortable facilitating conference calls now that it’s crazy to think I was ever afraid of them in the first place. It was uncomfortable at first while I was still learning, but it forced me to grow professionally.

In addition to facilitating conference calls, I had to learn how to coordinate proposals. Prior to interviewing at CGI, I had literally no idea what a proposal even was. I can remember my first interview for this job with my former boss when she explained how banks will send us questions to answer in order to get business. It was all Greek to me then. But then I started the job and was forced to start coordinating proposals myself very quickly because capacity dictated it.

Within a few quick months, I mastered proposal coordination and required little to no oversight of my work. Within four months of starting the role, I singlehandedly trained the newest member of our proposal team. A year later, I became proposal lead and oversaw all the team’s proposals. Now three years in, I’m the proposal manager of the entire team. Did I know what I was doing the entire time? Absolutely not! I just faked it and figured it out along the way.

A few weeks ago, a member of another business unit actually referred to me as a “proposal guru” as I was explaining our proposal processes to her. I confidently told her about what we do, our templates, the collaboration tool we use and how to find generic answers. This was a moment that I realized I really had “made it.” All the things my boss had explained to me in my interview are second nature to me now. I started out literally not knowing what a proposal was, and now I’m a so-called “proposal guru.”

Another area where I had no knowledge or experience was our IT solutions that we are selling with our proposals. I came into my job as a proposal coordinator not only knowing nothing about our specific CGI solutions but also knowing nothing about the financial services industry in general. I would sit in on calls listening to subject matter experts discuss the solution we were going to propose to the client, not really understanding any of the things they were talking about.

Fast forward three years, and I understand most of the functional/technical discussions around our solutions on conference calls. I can read proposals and provide substantive edits. I am able to write content myself and provide feedback on the rest of the proposal response. I can even explain our solutions and what they do to other people (to a certain extent, I’m still no expert). So how was I able to come so far in such a short period of time? I faked it until I made it. I listened and learned as much as I could from everyone along the way and then eventually it just clicked.

Of course, I still have plenty to learn, but I didn’t let my lack of knowledge or experience stop me from doing a role I was ultimately very successful in.

Is there such a thing as overconfidence?

Yes, there is such a thing as overconfidence. You can’t just be recklessly confident “faking it” and never follow through and “make it.” In order for the “fake it until you make it” advice to work, you have to actually make it eventually. You can’t just pretend forever that you know what you’re doing without actually learning how to do it and following through. You can’t bank on empty confidence and think it’s going to carry you through your life. You might be able to get away with it for awhile, but it will eventually catch up with you.

Additionally, you should strive to be confident, not cocky. It’s one thing to believe in your abilities and portray an image of confidence to your colleagues. It’s another thing to be constantly bragging about how awesome you are. No one wants to be around someone who is cocky, so make sure you aren’t crossing the line over confidence into cocky.

Why does it matter if you’re confident anyway?

Now that we’ve gone over my key to confidence — fake it until you make it — why does any of this matter? Who cares if you are confident as long as you get your job done? You don’t have to be confident in order to be successful professionally, but if you are confident, you are going to open up a lot more doors for yourself. If you are confident in your abilities, you are going to be more likely to try new things and take advantage of opportunities, which will allow you to grow professionally and move up the corporate ladder.

It’s okay if you don’t want to move up and be a manager, but confidence still comes in handy at all levels. Your colleagues will see you as more competent, trustworthy and likeable, according to an Atlantic article. Plus you will just feel better about yourself and be more empowered if you are confident in your abilities. You really can do anything you set your mind to, so don’t limit your potential by lacking confidence.