Let’s talk about passive suicidal ideation
***TRIGGER WARNING*** The following blog contains references to suicide and gun violence. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. In the U.S., call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. For countries outside the U.S., visit findahelpline.com to find your local crisis line.
Sitting in a dark movie theater with the previews on, my mind starts to wander. What if someone started shooting up the movie theater? My eyes dart to the exits. But my heart isn’t pounding. My chest isn’t becoming tight with anxiety. I don’t feel a sense of worry. I am calm and collected. I think to myself, That would be okay if that happened. It wouldn’t be the worse thing ever if I died.
What I was feeling in that moment can be described as passive suicidal ideation. Passive suicidal ideation is when an individual has frequent thoughts about death and suicide without a plan or intention of harming themselves.1 “I hope someone crashes into my car” is an example of passive suicidal ideation.1
Sitting in that movie theater, I didn’t have a plan to kill myself. I didn’t even hope that someone would start shooting up the place and kill me. But in that moment, dying was an acceptable outcome, and that alone is cause for concern.
“Although passive suicidal ideation does not always lead to suicide, it is a serious problem that no one should ignore,” according to psychiatrist and medical director of New Waters Recovery in Raleigh, North Carolina.1
Whenever I start to experience passive suicidal thoughts, it is an alarm bell for me to check in with myself and my mental health professionals. Why am I feeling this way? Is there something going on that needs to be addressed? Do I need to make a change in my therapy or medication protocols?
It’s possible a fleeting passive suicidal thought could be innocuous, but it also might not be. And that’s why we should take all forms of suicidal ideation, including passive suicidal thoughts, seriously.
If you or a loved one is struggling or in crisis, it is NEVER a bad idea to reach out to a crisis helpline. I’ve reached out to a crisis helpline when I was extremely depressed and not eating or drinking, and I found the interaction extremely helpful. In the U.S., call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. For countries outside the U.S., visit findahelpline.com to find your local crisis line.
